Additional Readings
May every
blessing and grace be yours
May your love grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.
May joy and delight fill your home
May daily problems not vex you unduly
nor the desire for earthly possessions dominate you
May you have
true friends to stay by you in joy and sorrow
And if children bless you, may they return your love
many times over.
With wise and generous hearts
May you help all to come to you in need of comfort
and may you reach a ripe age together
content for having lived a life of goodness and worth.
____________________________________________
We
have been called together as witnesses
to the happiness which this couple
has found together
and to the pledge which they will now make
each to the other
for the mutual service
of their common life.
We
rejoice with them,
that out of all the world
they have found each other.
And that they will henceforth find the deeper
meaning and richness of human life
in sharing it with each other.
Taught
by our own joys,
By our own sorrows,
Even by our own failures,
We remind them
That in marriage
As in all life,
Whosoever insists upon saving his lesser goods
And his little self
Shall miss what is greater,
But
whosoever forgets himself
In devotion to his beloved
And in consecration to their common enterprise,
Is surest to find a full and happy life.
-
anonymous
"There
is nothing nobler and more admirable
Than when two people who see eye to eye
Keep house as man and wife,
Confounding their enemies
And Delighting their friends"
- Homer
********
Song
of the Open Road
Listen,
I will be honest with you ...
I do not offer the old smooth prizes
But offer rough new prizes
These are the days that must happen to you:
You
shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand
all that you earn or achieve.
However sweet the laid up stores,
However convenient the dwelling,
you shall not remain there.
However sheltered the port,
However calm the waters,
you shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you,
you are permitted to receive it but a little while.
Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road
Healthy, free, the world before you
The long brown path before you,
Leading wherever you choose.
Say
only to one another:
Camerado,
I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money;
I give you myself before preaching and law:
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?"
-
Walt Whitman
*******
The
Sound of Silence
Here in the space between us and the world
lies human meaning
Into the vast uncertainty we call.
The echoes make our music,
sharp equations which can hold the stars,
and marvelous mythologies we trust.
This may be all we need
to lift our love against indifference and pain.
Here in the space between us and each other
lies all the future
of the fragment of the universe
which is our own.
- Raymond Baughan
*******
from The Book and the Brotherhood, Iris Murdoch
I
hereby give myself.
I love you.
You are the only being whom I can love absolutely with my complete
self, with
all my flesh and mind and heart. You are my mate, my perfect partner,
and I am
yours. You must feel this now, as I do … It was a marvel that we ever
met. It
is some kind of divine luck that we are together now. We must never,
never part
again. We are, here in this, necessary beings, like gods. As we look at
each
other we verify, we know, the perfection of our love, we recognize each
other.
Here is my life, here if need be, is my death.
*******
Bertrand
Russell from Marriage and Morals
It
is therefore possible for a civilised man and woman to be happy in
marriage, although if this is to be the case a number of conditions
must be
fulfilled. There must be a feeling of complete equality on both sides;
there
must be no interference with mutual freedom; there must be the most
complete
physical intimacy; and there must be a certain similarity in regard to
standards of values. Given all these conditions, I believe marriage to
be the
best and most important relation that can exist between two human
beings.
If
it has not often been realised hitherto, that is chiefly because
husbands and wives have regarded themselves as each other's policemen.
If
marriage is to achieve its possibilities, husband and wife must learn
to
understand that, whatever the law may say, in their private lives they
must be
free.
**********
Anne
Morrow Linbergh from A Gift from the Sea
A
good relationship has a pattern like a dance, and is built on some of
the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because
they move
confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay, and swift and free,
like a
country dance of Mozart's. To touch heavily would be to arrest the
pattern and
freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its
unfolding.
There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the
heavy
hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to
face, now
back to back - it does not matter which. Because they know they are
partners
moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being
invisibly
nourished by it. The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of
creation or
the joy of participation; it is also the joy of living in the moment.
Lightness
of touch and living in the moment are intertwined.
**********
What
more sweet than to live with one with whom you are united in body
and mind, who talks with you in secret affection, to whom you have
committed
all your faith and your fortune? What in all nature is lovelier? You
are bound
to friends in affection. How much more to a husband or wife in the
highest
love, with union of the body, the bond of mutual vows and the sharing
of your
goods! … Nothing is more safe, tranquil, pleasant and lovable than
marriage.
Adapted
from Erasmus On Marriage
**********
When
two individuals meet, so do two private worlds. None of our private
worlds is big enough for us to live a wholesome life in. We need the
wider
world of joy and wonder, of purpose and venture, of toil and tears.
What are
we, any of us, but strangers and sojourners, wandering through the
nighttime
until we draw together and find the meaning of our lives in one
another,
dissolving our fears in each other's courage, making music together and
lighting torches to guide us through the dark?
-
A. Powell Davies
**********
MARRIAGE
Live
long and laugh loud,
Sent on singing, singing,
Smashed to the heart
Under the ribs
With a terrible love.
Joy
always,
Joy everywhere --
Let joy kill you!
Keep away from the little deaths.
-
Carl Sandburg
************
T.S
Eliot To My Wife 1959
To
whom I owe the leaping delight
That quickens my senses in our waking time
And the rhythm that governs the repose of sleeping time,
The breathing in unison
Of
lives whose bodies smell of each other
Who think the same thoughts without need of speech
And babble the same speech without the need of meaning
No
peevish winter wind shall chill
No sullen tropic sun shall wither
The roses in the rose-garden which is ours and ours only.
But
this dedication is for others to read:
These are private words addressed to you in public.
**********
SONNET
XVII
I
don't love you as if you were the salt-rose,
topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
therefore, between the shadow and the soul.
I
love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and
carries
Hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I
love you without knowing how, or when, or from
where
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know another way of loving.
but
this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest in my hand:
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
Pablo
Neruda
********
Letters
to a Young Poet
For
one human being to love another human being
that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been
entrusted to us, the ultimate, the final test and proof,
The work for which all other work is but preparation…
Love
is a high inducement for the individual to
ripen ..
to become world in himself for the sake of another person
….human love… consists in this: that two solitudes
protect and border and greet each other.
…even
between the closest human beings infinite
distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up,
if they succeed in loving the distance between them
which makes it possible for each to see the other
against a wide sky!
-
Rainer Maria Rilke
********
It
is for the union of you and me
That there is light in the sky.
It is for the union of you and me
That the earth is decked in dusky green.
It is for the union of you and me
That night sits motionless with the world in her arms;
Dawn appears opening the eastern door
With sweet murmurs in her voice.
The
boat of hope sails along the currents of
Eternity that union,
Flowers of the ages are being gathered together
For its welcoming ritual.
It
is for the union of you and me
that this heart of mine, in the garb of a bride,
has proceeded from birth to birth
upon the surface of this ever-turning world
to choose the beloved.
--
Rabindranath Tagore (translated by Indu Dutt)
**********
You
are a part of me. I do not know
By what slow chemistry you first became
A vital fibre of my being. Go
Beyond the rim of time or space, the same
Inflections of your voice will sing their way
Into the depths of my mind still. Your hair
Will gleam as bright, the artless play
Of word and glance, gesture and the fair
Young fingers waving, have too deeply etched
The pattern of your soul on mine. Forget
Me quickly as a laughing picture sketched
On water, I shall never know regret
Knowing no magic ever can set free
That part of you that is part of me.
-
Frank Yerby
**********
Scaffolding -
Seamus Henry
Masons,
when they start upon a building,
Are careful to test out the scaffolding;
Make
sure that planks won't slip at busy points,
Secure all ladders, tighten bolted joints,
And
yet all this comes down when the job's done,
Showing off walls of sure and solid stone.
So
if, my dear, there sometimes seem to be
Old bridges breaking between you and me
Never
fear. We may let the scaffolds fall
Confident that we have built our wall.
**********
Sir
Philip Sidney Love's Tranquillity
My
true love hath my heart, and I have his'
By just exchange one for the other given:
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss,
There never was a better bargain driven:
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.
His
heart in me keeps him and me in one,
My heart in him his thought and senses guides:
He loves my heart, for once it was his own,
I cherish his, because in me it bides:
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.
**********
From
a Native American marriage ceremony
(Sometimes known as the Apache Blessing)
'May
the sun bring you new energies by day;
May the moon softly restore you by night.
May the rain wash away any worries you may have
And the breeze blow new strength into your being.
And the, all the days of your life,
May you walk gently through the world
And know its beauty'.
Now
you will feel not the rain, for each will
shelter the other.
Now you will feel not cold, for each will warm the other.
Now you will feel not solitude, for each will company other.
Now you are two persons, but both will lead one life.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life,
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
*********
NAVAJO
BLESSING
Rising
sun ! when you shall shine
Make this house happy
Beautify
it with your beams
Make this house happy,
God of Dawn! Your white blessings spread:
Make this house happy,
Guard
the doorway from all evil;
Make this house happy,
White
corn! Abide herein;
Make this house happy,
Heavy
Rain! Your virtues send,
Make this house happy,
Corn
Pollen! Bestow Content,
Make this house happy,
May
peace around this family dwell;
Make this house happy.
* *
* * * * *
BLESSING
May
every blessing and grace be yours
May your love grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.
May joy and delight fill your home
May daily problems not vex you unduly
nor the desire for earthly possessions dominate you
May
you have true friends to stay by you in joy and
sorrow
And if children bless you, may they return your love
many times over.
With wise and generous hearts
May you help all to come to you in need of comfort
and may you reach a ripe age together
content for having lived a life of goodness and worth.
-Gertrude
Nelson
From "The Irrational
Season", by
Madeleine L'Engle
"Ultimately there
comes a time when a decision
must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask
themselves how
much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk
they are
willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the
nature of
love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created.
To
marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If
we
commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people
think, a
rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all
the risks
of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love
which is
not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another
person.
When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that
co-creation which is our human calling."
top
Alternative Prayers
Christian Prayers
and Readings
Sample
Wedding Vows
#1
In
the name of Jesus, I ___ take you,
___, to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day
forward, for
better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love
and to cherish, for as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn
vow.
#2
I,
___, take you ___, to be my wedded
(husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better
for
worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish, 'til death do us part: according to God's holy ordinance, and
thereto
I pledge you my love and faithfulness.
#3
I
love you ___ as I love no other. All
that I am I share with you. I take you to be my (husband/wife) through
health
and sickness, through plenty and want, through joy and sorrow, now and
forever.
#4
I
take you ___, to be my
(husband/wife), loving you now and as you grow and develop into all
that God
intends. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart;
when our
lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil; when I am proud of you
and
when I am disappointed in you; in times of rest and in times of work. I
will
honor your goals and dreams and help you to fulfill them. From the
depth of my
being, I will seek to be open and honest with you. I say these things
believing
that God is in the midst of them all.
Christian
Opening Prayers
#1
Our
Father, love has been Your richest
and greatest gift to the world. Love between a man and woman which
matures into
marriage is one of Your most beautiful types of loves. Today we
celebrate that
love. May your blessing be on this wedding service. Protect, guide, and
bless
___ and ___ in their marriage. Surround them and us with Your love now
and
always. Amen.
#2
Heavenly
Father, ___ and ___ are now
about to vow their unending loyalty to each other. We ask you to accept
the
shared treasure of their life together, which they now create and offer
to You.
Grant them everything they need, that they may increase in their
knowledge of
You throughout their life together. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
#3
God,
for the joy of this occasion we
thank you. For the significance of this wedding day we thank you. For
this
important moment in an ever growing relationship we thank you. For your
presence here and now and for your presence at all times, we thank you.
In Christ's
holy name. Amen.
Christian
Closing Prayers
#1
The
Lord bless you and keep you. The
Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord
lift up
the light of his continence upon you, and give you peace.
#2
May
the love of God be above you to
overshadow you, beneath you to uphold you, before you to guide you,
behind you
to protect you, close beside you and within you to make you able for
all
things, and to reward your faithfulness with the joy and peace which
the world
cannot give -- neither can it take away. Through Jesus Christ, our
Lord, to
whom be glory now and evermore. Amen.
#3
Join
with me as we ask God's blessing
on this new couple. Eternal Father, redeemer, we now turn to you, and
as the
first act of this couple in their newly formed union, we ask you to
protect
their home. May they always turn to you for guidance, for strength, for
provision and direction. May they glorify you in the choices they make,
in the
ministries they involve themselves in, and in all that they do. Use
them to
draw others to yourself, and let them stand as a testimony to the world
of your
faithfulness. We ask this in Jesus name, Amen.
Bible
Passage
1
Corinthians
13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I
am only
a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy
and can
fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can
move
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to
the poor
and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is
patient,
love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It
is not
rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no
record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It
always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love
never
fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the
greatest of
these is love
Jewish Wedding Prayer
Today
we are thankful for the joy and gladness in our lives,
For
mirth and exultation, for pleasure and delight,
For
love and friendship, peace and peoplehood.
May
we all witness the day when the sounds throughout the world
Will
be these sounds of happiness:
the
voices of lovers, the sounds of feasting and singing
and
the song of peace.
Cherokee Wedding
Prayer
Father
Sky please protect the ones we love.
We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together.
We honor Mother Earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and
grow
stronger through the seasons
We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in
our
hearts
We honour wind - and ask we sail though life safe and calm as in our
father's arms
We honour water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may
never
thirst for love
With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony
and true
happiness as we forever grow young together.
Apache Wedding
Blessing
May
the sun bring you new energies by day;
May the moon softly restore you by night.
May the rain wash away any worries you may have
And the breeze blow new strength into your being.
And the, all the days of your life,
May you walk gently through the world
And know its beauty'.
Now
you will feel not the rain, for each will shelter the other.
Now you will feel not cold, for each will warm the other.
Now you will feel not solitude, for each will company other.
Now you are two persons, but both will lead one life.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life,
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
NAVAJO BLESSING
Rising
sun ! when you shall shine
Make this house happy
Beautify
it with your beams
Make this house happy,
God of Dawn! Your white blessings spread:
Make this house happy,
Guard
the doorway from all evil;
Make this house happy,
White
corn! Abide herein;
Make this house happy,
Heavy
Rain! Your virtues send,
Make this house happy,
Corn
Pollen! Bestow Content,
Make this house happy,
May
peace around this family dwell;
Make this house happy.
BLESSING
May
every blessing and grace be yours
May your love grow stronger and deeper with each passing year.
May joy and delight fill your home
May daily problems not vex you unduly
nor the desire for earthly possessions dominate you
May
you have true friends to stay by you in joy and sorrow
And if children bless you, may they return your love
many times over.
With wise and generous hearts
May you help all to come to you in need of comfort
and may you reach a ripe age together
content for having lived a life of goodness and worth.
-Gertrude
Nelson
Sanskrit prayer
Look
to this day for it is life
the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and truths of existence,
the joy of growth,
the splendour of action,
the glory of power.
For
yesterday is but a memory.
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday
a memory of happiness
and every tomorrow
a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore,to this day.
A Celtic Benediction
The
peace of the running water to you,
The peace of the flowing air to you,
The peace of the quiet earth to you,
The peace of the shining star to you,
And the love and the care of all of us to you.
Celtic Traditional
Vow 1
I
honour your gods
I drink at your well
I bring an undefended heart to our meeting place
I have no cherished outcome
I will not negotiate by withholding
I am not subject to disappointment.
Celtic Traditional
Vow 2
You
cannot possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me for I am a free person.
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night.
and the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my meat.
And the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living, and my dying, equally in your care.
And tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you
This is a marriage of equals.
Traditions from
Ireland
Wedding Vow
Oh
woman (man ) loved by me,
mayst thou give me they heart,
they soul
and body. Amen
**********
My
love is no short year's sentence.
It is grief lodged under the skin,
Strength pushed beyond its bounds;
The four quarters of the world,
The highest point of heaven.
It is
A heart breaking or
Battle with a ghost,
Outrunning the sky or
Courting an echo.
So is my love, my passion & my devotion
To him (her) to whom I give them.
Blessing for a bride
to her groom and vice versa:
You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore,
In skies above, nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company.
**********